I am now coming to the realization that my up bringing was definitely not the norm. It is when you’re having a discussion with people and you comment about some particular moment in your childhood and then realize people are looking at you as if you have gone mad. A great example of this is when I am talking to my husband about flash backs I get about my past when I was a child. He actually looks at me as if I am insane. His reply, "you're lying, don't be silly". My sisters and brother would agree with me, however they may not even see this BLOG SITE as they will never know my journey into Christianity. Well not at the moment anyway.
In my alpha group last night when discussing "How Can I Resist Evil" I mentioned about my father's suicide. That was pretty emotional, though managed to hold back my tears on that one. We were also on the subject of Christmas (this time of year I always get rather emotional remembering my childhood) and Christmas decorations. I mentioned that although my mother wasn't the best one in the world she did spend time at Christmas making decoration for the tree. It was when I asked "Did anyone else make the decorations from cigarette boxes and match boxes?" that I got that look from them all, the same one my husband gives me when I talk about my childhood.
I would never say I wished I had had a different childhood other wise I would not be the person I am today, however there are a lot of issues that need to be dealt with that have be locked away in a safe place. Looks like now is the time to open that door and let them all out. Am I really ready for that? Well, if God guides me then hey! Why not? I'm not looking forward to it but definitely a great way to go forward in my life.
Philippians 3:13,14 - English Standard Version
"13 Brothers, I do not consider that I have made it my own. But one thing I do: forgetting what lies behind and straining forward to what lies ahead,14 I press on toward the goal for the prize of the upward call of God in Christ Jesus."
