About Me

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Well, where do I start? I could start at many stages in my life; all very exciting and adventurous in some sort of way. Probably best to start when I met my husband 10 years ago, as this was the turning point in my very emotional and dramatic life. Met Ben through work, we had a wonderful life together, very ambitious, career driven until we decided to started a family 4 years later. The fertility Journey did take 2 years to conceive but we got there eventually and conceived little Thomas, now for someone like me who has no patience what so ever this was a agonizing and stressful wait but well worth it. We moved from our home town Bournemouth to Ipswich with Ben's work, I gave up my careern and then married in Cumbria in 2009. We continued to have 2 more children very easily compared to Thomas, Jesiica and Baby Wilson.
One of the main reasons I have set up this blog is to gather advice and information on how I can be guided through my Journey into Christianity. "We need others around us who know Jesus. Who want God to influence their lives", "The Spiritual Starter Kit" Lesson # 5 - The value of other believers.
I am not perfect nor do I want to be, I am not here to change the world, or the way people think. I am just here to be happy and put the past behind me, wash away all the pain and view the world differently to the way I see it today. I want to be happy in no matter what I do, feel completeness and at peace with the world and admire all the beautiful things it has to offer me, my family and all my beautiful friends. I know this can happen it is just a matter of believing!


Please, I urge you to join my site and welcome any thoughts you may have or advice that will help me on my way! This site would not work without your input. Please note I am dyslexic, so, if anyone wishes to volunteer to edit my posts, by all means feel free.




Friday 9 December 2011

The most beautiful song for my most beautiful friend.

http://selfempowermentsecrets.com
This is for you my bestest beautiful friend kellie, I have known for the longest time. You are amazing, thank you.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=24z7DDYgpJ8

Today's Verse



Luke 21:9 (NIV)
When you hear of wars and revolutions, do not be frightened. These things must happen first, but the end will not come right away."
How appropriate to how I am feeling at the moment.

Just so heart felt - Brian Crain Dream of Flying

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAJcApOKVQs&feature=related

Made me cry.

"Faith hope love", Thank you for coming onto my blog and reading. I clicked on your blog and and tears steamed down my face what a beautiful piece of music I just want to listen to it over and over again. Thank you. I just love music that moves the soul.
Click here to go on the blog and listen and read. http://thenetherlands3.blogspot.com/
There really is some beautiful people out in the world and I hope I have the absolute pleasure in meeting you as you come across this site. I am truly thank full. God bless. x

City of Angels


I love this film and the music. Caroline you mentioned it the other day.

http://youtu.be/ByOZWuC3vFE

Beautfuil.

http://maryannsmerrygoround.blogspot.com/2011/11/today-you-can-living-life-with-thankful.html

Struggling with my Journey into happiness and Godliness

http://suns-club.blogspot.com/


I was under no illusion that this Journey would easy, when your trying to better yourself and be happy, it is far from easy. If it were easy, everyone would be happy.

I think I have been doing the Alpha Course for about 8 weeks now and going to my fabulous church for 3 months.  It has been the most amazing, magical Journey of my life, apart from meeting my husband, who is my hero and soul mate of all time. And, having my beautiful children what a magical gift. However like everything magical and amazing you need to place your feet firmly back on the ground and then just learn to be at peace with the world. This is what I feel is happening to me, I know that it is now time to look at myself and work out way I feel so sad, angry and not at peace with the world all the time. I think I have managed to hide it for such a long time I am not quite sure how to deal with it, even the thought of looking at why.

Motherhood is such a strong influence on how you feel, how you were brought up and even your relationship with your own mother. There you go another, ouch, sore subject, I really really do not want to deal with right now. Right at this moment in time I so want a mummy hug, to know I am loved, and cherished for who I am. I want my mum to be proud of what I have become. Ya right, that is never gonna happen, so how do I deal with that! To add more insult to injury, there is the subject of my father, now, that is, another entirely different matter.

I have known for quite sometime that I would have to deal with all these awful emotional memories and dysfunctions but never sure of how to. Gosh, I have read every possible book you can on these issues, but nothing ever really helped me.  I was in discussions with my Reverend and he did say this would be one big emotional rollercoaster ride, I just need to have the courage to get on the ride, how do I get that courage when I feel so alone all the time.

I have my beautiful "Ipswich" friends, Caroline, Emma, Rosie and Tracey (some of whom are Christian or doing the Alpha course with me) but it is not a Father, Mother or Sister figure, someone who loves me unconditional. Now, I hear you all say, yes but you do have someone who loves you unconditional, someone who is proud of everything you do; who even died on the cross for you to forgive your sins and wash away all the badness; Jesus, God and the Holy Spirit which lives in your heart. Yes I do agree but for some reason even though I have taken such a great leap into faith over the last few months, I feel, just as I am getting closer to opening up and letting go, I have in turn taken ten thousand steps back, right back to the beginning even to the beginning of my childhood. Now that is scary.

http://www.englishbaby.com


I met a lovely lady at the church toddler group today who was just amazing; she was so welcoming, warm hearted and kind. Thank you Rachel I hope you don’t mind me mentioning you on this site and I am hoping I will have the courage to also show you this site too. Rachel mentioned about having someone to talk to about all my problems or shall I say issues. I am hoping I can find someone from a Christian back ground that would be willing to counsel or mentor me through this very tough time