I just had to write this here as I am completely shocked and quite scared actually. I love researching, finding information. My brain is like a massive sponge when I come across something that is of interest to me. I suppose it’s a bit like everyone else really. However, I know that God says that when you start your Journey into Godliness you will come up against Satan and Bad Spirits, I really didn't take this serious enough.
I do completely understand that I am so new to knowing God, and forgive me world but yes Christianity, because I know a lot of people out there who are very passionate about knowing Christ, feel very strongly about the way in which they worship him. For me, I have no interest in how other people worship him. My main concern is how I build a relationship with him no matter what and how I do it. I became a Christian because I felt unloved by the world and almost neglected. I spent a lot of hard work, effort and love finding people and building relationships with them for the sake of me and my family, but always getting let down in some way. I felt that people just didn't live by kind and loving and unselfish rules that I like to think I did. My sisters would agree with me, we all seems to expect people to treat us the way we treat them, with love and kindness, I am afraid the world just is not like this. Sometimes I don’t think other people even realised how hurt I felt maybe I didn't treat people how they wanted to be treated, I suppose it does work both ways. I am not blaming other people for the way I felt but it can be a very lonely world out there sometimes, I know of this loneliness only to well.
I lived this lonely existence from the age of 14 up until I met my amazing husband when I was 28.. With no friends and family around me I always felt a strong urge to bond with other human beings. Even more so now I am a mum to my three beautiful children and a wife to my amazing husband. I feel it is so important to have a mother or father figure in your life, even a sister or brother so you can for once feel, like a family unit with all the love and support you would or should normal get.
So to conclude this little bit of babble after reading some comments on a site I found interesting last night, but found me rather scared. I will not be scared and embarrassed about what other people think about me and my new found freedom or even what they think about God and they way people live their Godly life, I will except and love with open arms, all the new and amazing people I have already met, and will meet through Christianity and maybe it is actually the Holy Spirit working his magic, because I have asked him to take control of my life. I know longer want the stress and anger of it all. And I pray that God will guide me in my search of new found knowledge to know what is right from wrong. I also thank you for all the amazing information and Knowledge that I have found out there in the big wide world and I will only take information that is of interest to me. I also want to thank God for the amazing people I have met through church over the last few days, knowing god is all about building relationship the thing I have always craved in life.
