About Me

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Well, where do I start? I could start at many stages in my life; all very exciting and adventurous in some sort of way. Probably best to start when I met my husband 10 years ago, as this was the turning point in my very emotional and dramatic life. Met Ben through work, we had a wonderful life together, very ambitious, career driven until we decided to started a family 4 years later. The fertility Journey did take 2 years to conceive but we got there eventually and conceived little Thomas, now for someone like me who has no patience what so ever this was a agonizing and stressful wait but well worth it. We moved from our home town Bournemouth to Ipswich with Ben's work, I gave up my careern and then married in Cumbria in 2009. We continued to have 2 more children very easily compared to Thomas, Jesiica and Baby Wilson.
One of the main reasons I have set up this blog is to gather advice and information on how I can be guided through my Journey into Christianity. "We need others around us who know Jesus. Who want God to influence their lives", "The Spiritual Starter Kit" Lesson # 5 - The value of other believers.
I am not perfect nor do I want to be, I am not here to change the world, or the way people think. I am just here to be happy and put the past behind me, wash away all the pain and view the world differently to the way I see it today. I want to be happy in no matter what I do, feel completeness and at peace with the world and admire all the beautiful things it has to offer me, my family and all my beautiful friends. I know this can happen it is just a matter of believing!


Please, I urge you to join my site and welcome any thoughts you may have or advice that will help me on my way! This site would not work without your input. Please note I am dyslexic, so, if anyone wishes to volunteer to edit my posts, by all means feel free.




Saturday 17 December 2011

Having a Down Day!

http://eswar.hubpages.com/hub/You-can-Control-Stress
This is not my average down day!! When I feel tired, or fed up with the daily drudgery of daily life and I can just pick myself up by having a 10 second deep breath, or praying. For some reason I have woken up at 5am feeling really tearful and completely doubtful that God really exists! Terrible I know. The trouble is, I feel like I do everything for everyone else. Thing is I like doing everything for everyone else it makes me feel alive, feel wanted, makes me feel like a human being. However, surely their comes a time when you cannot give give give give all the time. Part of me says I should be concentrating on thanksgiving. Giving thanks for everything I have in my life, grateful that I have a lot more than other people. Yes I have done this all week and it has been amazing, it has made me feel great and alive.
Trouble is I seem to be looking after everyone, worrying about how they feel, what can I do to make them feel better when they are sad. Look don't get me wrong I know my friends worry about me, are always there when I need them, this feels different some how. It all boils down to making time for me, taking time out from my daily life, feeling like I am having me time, no not having a hot bath, or reading a book, nor going to the Alpha course, while it is great and self absorbing it is not want I am wanting at the moment. I need time for me!
Maybe I need to look at what the bible says about the way I am feeling this morning, I have a poorly Daddy this morning because he had his Xmas party last night (I can hear jealousy in my head, God does not allow that), I have kids running riot and I feel like I want to run away. Forget the cleaning and up keep of the house I really don't care about it this morning. Gosh I sounds like I am wallowing in self-pity which the bible says you should not do. The bible would say it is Satan taking over my Spirit, I say I just need a break. I am experiencing all the bad things that the bible says I should not feel, that will take me away from God, and yet somehow the last thing I want to do right now is pray, how bad it that. Maybe by writing this down here  (forgetting I started to run a bath for myself an hour ago and my hubby is shouting at me) may make me feel better, it certain will direct me to bible verses that hopeful will rein me back in again and put me back on the right path. So here goes, let see what I can find. One thing I know I can do is get my self an evening out whether it be with a friend or even on my own, who cares, just as long as I take myself away from it all and get away. I feel bad right now as my poor hubby had a night out, feel rather worst for where the last thing he needs is to look after three children while I wallow in self-pity writing my blog.
Just had a thought, how can I be so sad and miserable when I have a great life, great opportunities. Somehow in the mist of all these tears and frustration this doesn't help. Is it possible that you can over work yourself mentally and emotional to the point of exhaustion, where you just need to take a breath, recuperate, refresh yourself so you can then pick yourself up and be happy again, vibrant joyous, kind and loving to the universe and everything in it.?
I know I am grateful for one thing right now and that is for my hubby, thank you hubby for letting me have an hour out while you feel terrible and are struggle yourself. See I have already let him down by not being there for him letting him have a sleep in to nursing his poor fragile head, but right at this moment in time I find I cannot be there for him.
To be continued..................................
Christianity “is not an easy path” but a “demanding climb,” says Pope
1 Corinthians 10:11-13
New Living Translation (NLT)
11 These things happened to them as examples for us. They were written down to warn us who live at the end of the age.
 12 If you think you are standing strong, be careful not to fall. 13 The temptations in your life are no different from what others experience. And God is faithful. He will not allow the temptation to be more than you can stand. When you are tempted, he will show you a way out so that you can endure.
How come I have managed to keep calm, peaceful and patient all week and now I am just plain cross and angry. Fed up, exhausted and tired. I am naturally a very selfless person and I just want some me time even to read the bible or work on this blog!
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7 comments:

  1. Families and Happiness17 December 2011 at 21:38

    The Pope stated in 2008 - “True believers obtain salvation by professing with their mouths that Jesus is the Lord and believing with their hearts that God raised Him from the dead”.

    It is not enough to have faith in the heart, we must bear witness to it. This way Christians “become part of the process” that “began with the resurrection of Christ, on which is founded the hope that we too may one day enter with Christ into our true homeland in heaven.”

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  2. Families and Happiness17 December 2011 at 21:52

    Psalm 46:1
    God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble. (NIV)

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  3. Families and Happiness17 December 2011 at 21:54

    Dealing with Stress
    Philippians 4:6-7
    Do not be anxious about anything, but in everything, by prayer and petition, with thanksgiving, present your requests to God. And the peace of God, which transcends all understanding, will guard your hearts and your minds in Christ Jesus. (NIV)

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  4. Anonymous17 December 2011 at 22:22

    this feelings come in all christians once in a while..we all want to be needed..but im talking out of experience..the lord let me see that life in christ is about others..and not ourselfs..jesus give everything for others..even we can experience joy and a fullfilled life in him..our reward will come when we are in heaven..in the mean time..we must think that all is a process..we can keep asking why why why? and never get really answers from above..just do what god tells you..in faith..cause we will never understand the unfairness of the world..and we dont have to cause in heaven we will come to understand why the suffering the mistreated the way we feel..just trust..im praying for you friend..the lord is with you...my dearly friendship and love to you..

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  5. Caroline18 December 2011 at 00:33

    Yes it is possible to be mentally and physically exhausted by doing so much stuff. Try and count down until Ben will have time off over Christmas with you - that is what I am doing at the moment! My brother has cancelled tonight so I am around for the afternoon and evening - I can run you a bubble bath with candles and a glass of coke and some calming music in the background if you want to come over. You can then have a hot chocolate with mashmallows and a blanket to snuggle. How does that sound? By later this afternoon Ben should be feeling better so you should be ok to go out. It is at times when you feel distant from God that you need to turn to Him the most - have you read Footprints in the Sand? You know I'm here if you want to talk.....

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  6. Families and Happiness18 December 2011 at 00:45

    Thank you Caroline. xxxx

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  7. Caroline18 December 2011 at 00:57

    Let me know if you want to come round.....
    Your time stamp is not right on here - is that something that you set when you set up the blog?

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