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Do you have people in your life that you really don't like? If you're human, there are bound to be some of those people around. And it seems to me that we run into these people on our jobs quite often.
Yes, even Christians are allowed to have people in their lives they do not like. I know of no scriptural directive that commands us to like everyone. But I know many verses that tell us to love other people. Here are just two of many:
And this commandment we have from God, that the one who loves God should love his brother also. (1 John 4:21)
Jesus said: "Love your enemies. For if you love those who love you, what credit is that to you? For even sinners love those who love them"
(Luke 6:32 & 35).
It's clear that as Christians we are to love people–all people, yes, even the people we work with. But what about those unlikable people? Since we cannot like them, we usually conclude that we cannot love them either. Don't we have to like people before we can love them? How can we love someone we don't like?
Part of the problem is that we misunderstand the word love. The kind of love that we need in order to love people we don't like is agape love, God's kind of love. Now, agape love is not a feeling. Though we may experience nice feelings as a result of agape love, it does not depend on how we feel or how others feel about us. We can express agape love whether the feelings are present or absent, whether they are good or bad. This kind of love is not a feeling.
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More from the article above:
ReplyDeletePatience:
When you act with patience toward someone, you are loving him or her. Keep in mind that love is not a feeling, so we don't have to feel patient. Can you remember acting patient even when you did not feel patient? That is agape love.
Kindness:
When you feel like saying something sarcastic or cutting or angry, but instead you say something kind, that is a love action.
Not Jealous:
When you refuse to behave jealously or possessively, you are showing love.
Has Good Manners:
Just plain courtesy is a love action. How often we forget good manners, like not interrupting others when they're talking, letting others go ahead of us, etc. Those are love actions.
Unselfish:
Agape love acts in an unselfish manner, without pursuing selfish advantage or trampling over others in trying to get where you want to get. Remember, don't wait to feel unselfish; show your love by acting unselfishly.
Endurance:
When other people have given up and left, agape love will still be there, hanging in with someone. It will endure all things. It will keep listening to someone, even when you think you cannot listen to another word from that person.
another important point:
ReplyDeleteA prerequisite to developing love actions toward unlikable people is to pray for them. Sincerely, regularly pray for their welfare. Ask God to show you what love actions to take toward them. And pray for them–a lot! Jesus taught us to pray for our enemies, and those who despitefully use us.